Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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