I need help removing her.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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