White coat. Heels.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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