He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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