hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
