Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
