I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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