I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
where are my eyebrows?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
