But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
