So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
