Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
