I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
