I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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