I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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