WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
