So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
