hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
