it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
