Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
