everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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