Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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