We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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