is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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