go do what you do best...puke behind churches
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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