so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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