i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
