it wasn't lemon gatorade
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
