Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
