I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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