MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
