It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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