Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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