why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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