So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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