Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
