i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
