I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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