let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
