and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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