Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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