me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
