i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
