the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
