I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
