I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
