I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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