can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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