who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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