yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
