New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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