After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
