i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This baby is an asshole
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
