In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
