fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
