So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
