420 ftw
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
