And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
