I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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