I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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