I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
