You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize