she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
