i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize