4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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