She is in my trunk
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
