I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I FOUND THE LEGS
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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