I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize