Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
