North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize